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i am not English, i am going to send this letter . is it OK ? can you improve it.?


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  #1  
Old 06-15-2008, 01:38 AM
lead lead is offline
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Default i am not English, i am going to send this letter . is it OK ? can you improve it.?

Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing in responce to your advertisment,which appeared in last monthedition of 'Music Festivals'.I and two of my friends
are intrested in going to'the rock festival'with your tour,and I would like some more information about your tours.
Fistly,I would like to know more about the performers .
Could you please tell me which bands in the festival are?I was wondering if you could tell me more details about the bands.
your advertisment mentions the freight to London's Heathrow airport.we would like to return with the last flight.It is on17th July,at 9:15 pm.Could you tell me when we get to the airport?
I need to know whether we will be there on time.
I also have a queriy about the accommandation for thetwo nights that we stay there.there is a question on meals.Should we have the meals ourselves or the tour will pay for it?
Since,I would appreciate to be with myfriends,could you tell me if we can have a three-bed room.thank you in advance for your assistance.
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  #2  
Old 06-15-2008, 01:38 AM
Englo Englo is offline
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Default i am not English, i am going to send this letter . is it OK ? can you improve it.?

Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing in responce to your advertisment, which appeared in last month's edition of 'Music Festivals'. I and two of my friends
are interested in going to 'The Rock Festival' with your tour, and I would like some more information about your tour.
Firstly, I would like to know more about the performers. Could you please tell me which bands are going to be in the festival? Your advertisment mentions the freight to London's Heathrow airport. We would like to return with the last flight. It is on17th July, at 9:15 pm.Could you tell me when we get to the airport?
I need to know whether we will be there on time.
I also have a query about the ccommodation for the two nights that we would be staying there. I also have a question on meals. Should we have the meals ourselves or will the tour pay for it?
I would appreciate to be with my friends, could you tell me if we can have three bed rooms? Thank you in advance for your assistance.

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  #3  
Old 06-15-2008, 01:38 AM
Jing Jing is offline
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Default i am not English, i am going to send this letter . is it OK ? can you improve it.?

To Whom it May Concern:

I am writing in response to your advertisement, which appeared in last month's edition of 'Music Festivals'. My friends and I are interested in going to 'the rock festival' with your tour. The three of us would like further information concerning your tours.

First, we would like to know more about the performers .
Could you please tell me which bands are in the festival? I was wondering if you could tell me more details about the bands.

Your advertisement also mentions the freight to London's Heathrow airport. We would like to return with the last flight, which is on 17th July, at 9:15 pm. Could you tell me the day and time at which we need to arrive at the airport?

Also, I would like to inquire about the accommodations and food for the two nights that we stay at the hotel. Since, there are three of us who wish to travel together, is it possible for us to have a three person room? As for our meals, will we need to pay for them or will food be provided by the tour?

Thank you in advance for your assistance.
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Old 06-15-2008, 01:38 AM
gonorth gonorth is offline
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Default i am not English, i am going to send this letter . is it OK ? can you improve it.?

Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing in *response* to your advertisment,which appeared in last *months edition* of 'Music Festivals'.I and two of my friends
are intrested in going to 'the rock festival' with your *company*,and I would like some more information about your tours.
Fistly,I would like to know more about the performers .
Could you please tell me which bands in the festival are *performing*? I was wondering if you could tell me more details about the bands.
your advertisment mentions the *flight* to London's Heathrow airport.we would like to return *on* the last flight.*Is it* on17th July,at 9:15 pm.Could you tell me when we *arrive at* the airport?
I need to know whether we will be there on time.
I also have a *query* about the *accommodation* for the two nights that we stay there.*i have a question about the meals*.Should we have the meals ourselves or *will the tour company* pay for it?
Since I would *like* to be with *my friends*,could you tell me if we can have a three-bed room.thank you in advance for your assistance.

*yours sincerely*

* or * * means i have changed,added or replaced words
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  #5  
Old 06-15-2008, 01:38 AM
John John is offline
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Default i am not English, i am going to send this letter . is it OK ? can you improve it.?

Go with random54's answer, it is very well-written. And please note he/she made some spelling corrections for you.
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